Nothing Comes Easily
by thepursuitofsassiness
Summary: Nessie and Jacob's relationship is growing but when things get better something always goes bad... will Nessie's and Jacob's love survive or will enough be enough? M FOR LANGUAGE,LEMONS and graphic descriptions
1. life in the fast lane

Hey everybody this is my version of Jacob's and Nessie's relationship this is my first fanfic so if you have any suggestions do tell me. Enjoy…..

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It's a new day, but it all feels old  
It's a good life, that's what I'm told  
But everything, it all just feels the same

The Anthem - Good Charlotte

**RPOV**

I was lying on my bed listening to "careful" by Paramore they were my favorite band. I so badly wanted to dye my hair all does different colours but to my distaste my overly fashion forward aunts wouldn't allow it but I did manage to cut my hair when they weren't around I am becoming quite rebellious .I love my family but a girl needs freedom, I remember when my dad came across the thought of Emman in my mind- he was my first boyfriend and he was quite a looker – he was half Quileute so his skin was light brown, broad shoulders which accompanied his slightly toned muscles ,his skin made his hazel eyes stand out, his hair was short and curly in simple terms he was a masterpiece but not as hot as Jake .Mom and my aunts were happy that their "little princess" got her first boyfriend at first dad was really…really mad but then when he heard how much it annoyed Jake he felt better. Jake even gave me the whole your only 4 years old speech but I simply reminded him that Emman had to knowledge of that and there was no reason for him to know it either; after all I did appear to be 15 but in the end our relationship crumbled as I presumed it would ;I'm not a big fan of teenage love affairs I didn't think they were worth my time and so to prove my point that love sucks I pick a Emman who was practically in love with me since I started high school. I pick this dude and eventually we broke each other's hearts so what's the point of love we'll not family love…

"RENESMEE! Jake wants to know if it's ok for him to come over so you guys can hang out. Mom yelled

" Yea mom that's cool with me "I said whilst rolling my eyes, she still refuses to call me Nessie I'm the one being called a lochness monster and u don't see my complaining. Moments later I heard Jake at the door.

"Hey, Bells" Jake said happily

"Hello Jacob ,Nessie is in her room go straight up" mom replied.

"Thanks"

"Hey Nessie" Jake said I little too cheerfully for my liking.

"What's got you so giddy, did you jerk off to a picture of me again…come on Jake you got to stop torturing your right hand "I said grinning evilly

"Oh my god Nessie; that was one time will you never let it go?"

"Nope" I said forming my mouth into a 'P'

Jake shook his head and flopped himself on my bed making me bounce up and down.

There was an awkward silence and Jake was staring and so I followed his gaze to my miniskirt which was all the way up my thigh seductively ran my hand up and down my inner thigh (thank god dad wasn't at home)

"God! Ness, why do u have u tease me?"

"It's fun to see u drooling over my body" and with that I got up and stood in front of him I bent down and whispered in his ear

"Too bad this is all Pete's" I said and ran out the room I heard him whimper when I left. Jake imprinted on me when I was born yes everyone in his and my family knew the story but it was my choice whether or not to be with him, yes we flirted shamelessly and had some cybersex (my idea) but that did not mean that I had to give up having teenage experiences to settle down and have kids with him.I wanted to live my life to the fullest not that I didn't have time or anything but…I ran straight into uncle Emmet

"Hey, watch where you're going kiddo"

"Sorry uncle Em"

"All is forgiven" he said ruffling my hair

"Hey don't mess with the fro" I said shooting him a fake glare

"Ha ha don't hurt me" he said putting his hands up defensively

"Whatever" I said making my way to the kitchen. I went to the fridge and grabbed a coke. When I turned around Jacob was leaning against the counter.

"So Ness are you ready to drop this guy "Pete" and give me a chance of showing what true love is?"He said rubbing my cheek I had a soft spot for Jacob but I'm not letting him know that just yet.

"No" I said firmly "when I'm ready I'll let u know" I know it sounded cold and heartless but the truth was that I was really truly and deeply in love with Jake but I'm just not ready to take that step. I could see the hurt flash across his face and I got a bad feeling in my gut.

"OK, fine ness I'm going; good night" he said with his head bowed. I didn't mean to hurt him but it was done and I couldn't take it back he was already gone. I made my way to my room to try to get some sleep before I had to go to that hell hole called school.

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The next morning I woke up to the sweet smell of blueberry pancakes "great dad's making his world famous pancakes yum!" I thought to myself.

"Come get them while there hot" I heard my dad say. I really have to remember that you read minds.

"Now that is no fun is it?" he chuckled

I rolled my eyes whilst going to take a shower. As soon as I was dressed I went downstairs to get breakfast when I reached to the table my breakfast was already laid out for me

"Where's Jake" I said pushing a whole half of a pancake in my mouth I really was picking up a lot of jakes habits

"He's not coming today; wolf duty calls" replied dad

"Okies well time for me to get going bye dad I love you" I said while I pecked his cheek

"Bye Ness I'll see you later"

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At school

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Well school was the same as everyday; I met Pete and my best friends we went to our classes talked ate lunch then later we headed out on our separate paths to our homes when I got home Jake wasn't there he didn't call or text or IM me I was feeling really down so I did my homework and went to bed at 7 breaking my record for bedtime. For a week things went like this I would call Jake and he would say he's sorry but he has patrolling to do ; And as our time apart lengthen I remembered the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and it did, everyday I felt more and more inclined to him and the distance was killing me. Every time I went to the rez I would get the same message 'he's on patrol' I even called Emily once and she said more of the wolves were on patrol and the time away from Sam was killing her slowly also oh how misery loves company…

It was the last day of school and I was flabergastic that It was the beginning of summer but alas it was time to say goodbye to Pete he was going to Orlando to visit his relatives I was happy I didn't have to see him for the entire summer because I was planning on breaking up with him anyway I wanted to kindle my feeling with Jake .Me and Pete were sitting in his car and I leaned over and kissed him but this felt so wrong my stomach started to churn and I wanted to puke ;I ran out of the car without a single word and went to my car I raced home and ran up to my room, I could take this anymore but I'm not going to cry I promised myself that no matter what I would never cry for a boy so I laid on my bed clutching my pillow for dear life never letting it go I buried my face in it and the next thing I knew I was awake I felt numb like a piece of me was missing but I refuse to let this feeling bring me down I hopped out of bed got showered dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast

* * *

"Good morning mom, dad" I said as I walked in to the kitchen

"Good morning honey" they both replied at the same time

"Jinx you owe me a coke" mom yelled

"Bella you can't drink coke remember" dad said with a smug smile

"Well, let me rephrase that Jinx you owe me a deer" mom said flashing dad her killer smile

"You got me that time" dad said leaning in and giving mom a passionate kiss

"Gag me" I yelled "you two make me sick!"

"Hey! Don't snap at us OK? It's not our fault you're too proud to stop this little 'I don't care' charade and go and get Jacob" mom said whilst walking out the kitchen

"Your mom's right I don't like that you're growing up this fast but Jake is the best guy for you and if that Pete guy comes within 10 feet of me I will kill him" dad lamented

"Who gave that little bastard the right to have such thoughts about my baby girl" I heard dad mumble as he walked out the room

"Fine! Since you both think I should get him I will" and with that I ran out the house and towards the rez. When I got to Jake's house I knocked on the door but nobody answered me so I decide to turn the knob and the door was open so I walked in. I walked in to the kitchen nobody was there so I went to the living room no one there either so I went to Jake's room when I pushed the door I saw him Jake…..he was asleep and he looked terrible like someone beat the shit outta him I went to the side of his bed and ran my finger tips up his arm , he shifted on the bed and mumbled something then I cupped his cheek and I heard him mumble my name my heart flew I couldn't believe it he dreamt of me. I leaned in and kissed his lips tentatively; then I felt his lips respond and he grabbed my hips and held me there I didn't complain I liked the feeling of his lips on mine just as I was about to straddle him, he jumped off the bed

"Nessie! What the hell are you doing in here?"

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TO BE CONTINUED…..

LOTS OF LOVE TO MY READERS IF U DON'T LIKE IT THEN BITCH DON'T COMMENT


	2. the kiss that started it all

Heller people hope your enjoying the story comment so I can know what you think …

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'Cause you're hot then you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up then you're down  
You're wrong when it's right  
It's black and it's white  
We fight, we break up  
We kiss, we make up  
HOT N COLD - Katy Perry

**JPOV**

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Jesus! Two weeks of patrol is killing me and all because of a group of stupid nomads that just don't give up. Every time we chase them across the border they come back and after a week of playing hide and go seek with the blood suckers It was really starting to piss me off and on top of all of that shit I hadn't seen nessie in ages so I decide to go meet her at her school on the last day but with my good luck I walk into the parking lot to met her making out with the that bastard named Pete I swear if it wasn't for Bella I would kill him and cut of his dick. So I started to avoid her it was killing me but I knew she needed her space so I scheduled patrol so that I did the most shifts and now all I was feeling is this numbness sinking into my bones. I needed to sleep and now so I dragged by tanned ass into my bedroom. I collapsed on the bed and before I knew it I was dreaming about my angel Renesmee. This was the same dream I had every night me and Nessie on our wedding day she was as beautiful as can be; her smile was so radiant and her skin was glowing. We were facing the priest and he was reciting the part I pronounce you husband and wife you may kiss your bride and as soon as I leaned in to kiss her I would wake up but that wasn't the case today. we kissed and I placed my hands on her hips holding her there as if I was afraid that she would disappear if I let her go .the kiss was getting more and more passionate and I decided it wasn't such a good idea to continue with everyone watching us I pulled away next thing I knew I'm on my feet facing nessie, the real Nessie…..

"Nessie! What the hell are you doing in here?" I yelled and she just shrugged her shoulders

"You should go" I stated

"That's not what you were saying when your tongue was down my throat" she said coldly and walked away

"Like how yours was down Pete's throat huh?"

"How dare you! You little fucking bastard tell me kissing my boyfriend, I will do what I want to do"

"Over my dead body" I replied I saw I weird emotion flash across her face then she hid it

"Just leave me alone, you go and screw one those blonde bimbos that want you and imma go and let Pete screw me" she said heading for the door.

The wolf in me just snapped I grabbed her by the wrists and crushed my lips to hers she didn't respond for a minute or two but when I ran my tongue along her bottom lip she whimpered and opened her mouth for me to explore. It was like heaven I was so caught up in the kiss that I didn't even hear someone enter the room

"EHEM!"

I turned around to meet Embry with a look of utter bemusement on his face

"Hi, folks I don't mean to disturb but Jake we have a problem?"

"What?" I whined

"We have a new addition to the pack, Paul's little brother"

"Holy mother of fuckery! Paul's got a brother?"

"My response exactly, I'll explain on the way there but right now we need to go" he said

"OK OK give me a minute" I said turning to Nessie

"Ness…."

"Don't say anything just go"

I hesitated

"Go!" she yelled

And I turned and ran out the house behind Embry

**THANKS FOR READING DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW ** LOVE YA!


	3. the new addition

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight….cause if I did I would have Taylor Lautner to myself he he :]

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JPOV

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"Now, tell me what's going on Embry"  
we were both in wolf form running towards Sam's house.

"As we all know Paul's mom has been known for her co curricular activities" he said throwing me a glance. "it turns out that she slept with quite a few guys on the Matak reservation before she married Kai from the rez when she give birth to Paul she filed for a divorce and was never seen by any of them after that …"

"And what's that got to do with Paul having a brother?"

"I'm getting there; the moved to the Matak rez and married Jolon but she was already pregnant with jay so when she found out he was Kai's baby she lied and told Jolon that it was his and as predicted that didn't go over smoothly Jolon found out and when he confronted her she simply said- oh yea didn't I mention that" embry said imitating Susan's voice

"And…."

"Would you shut up? Anyways Jolon slapped her and told her 'you aren't anything but a gold digging whore to his distaste jay heard and he just exploded

"Is that it?"

"Yup" he said nodding his wolf head

"Jeeze Louise what's wrong with these people"

When we arrived at Sam's house; the entire pack was there but we were the only ones in wolf form and among them was a with black and sliver fur

"That must be jay" I thought to my self

"Who are you?" said an unfamiliar voice asked

"Hi I'm Jacob black"

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4 hours later

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After four excruciating hours of explanations all I wanted to do was sleep but I still had to talk to nessie .i ran as fast as my limbs permitted, when I reached the Cullen mansion Edward was on the front porch.

"Hey Edward, what's up? Why so dead?" I said while chuckling at my own joke

"Har har, very funny mutt, I heard about Renesmee and your little encounter today"

"Oh crap I'm dead" I thought to myself

"Actually no, I much rather you than that Pete guy" he scowled

"Uh OK…um imma go now later "I said awkwardly

O Jacob breathe… I told myself standing outside Nessie's door contemplating whether or not to knock on her door.

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RPOV

He's here I can sense him outside my door. Everything about him is heavenly; his scent, his hair, his sexy smirk and that orgasmic body….stop it! I need to stop thinking about him that way. I'm just going to act like nothing ever happened I thought to myself over and over again as I reached to open the door

"Hi Jacob" I said with a fake smile plastered on my face

"Uh hi Renesmee"

"come in, I'm just finishing up my homework" I said heading towards my desk; after 10 minutes of silence I turned around to find Jacob at the edge of my bed eyeing me curiously

"You want a soda" I asked as I started to head for the door

"Nessie would you knock it off?"

"Knock what off?" I said trying to act completely innocent

"Stop this charade; I know that kiss meant something to you. It did right?"

I just shrugged my shoulders

"Really, ness? I should have known better" I could see heartbreak written all over his face. Jake reached for the door and my entire future with out him vanished before my eyes; is this really the life I want… no Jacob no problems right?

THANKZ FOR READING

P.S IF U DON'T COMMENT THEN I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE READING THE STORY.


	4. facing the facts

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight…..why do we even have to write this because if I had owned twilight I sure as hell wouldn't be on this site writing FAN fictions =P

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**

_Previously _

_Really, Ness? I should have known better" I could see heartbreak written all over his face. Jake reached for the door and my entire future with out him vanished before my eyes; is this really the life I want… no Jacob no problems right?_

_

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_

Though I'm rather blind  
Love is a fate resigned  
Memories mar my mind  
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds  
And laughed at by the gods  
And now the final frame  
Love is a losing game.

Love is a losing game - Amy Winehouse

**RPOV**

"Jake….."

"Go ahead explain yourself it's the least you can do" he said coldly still not facing me

"Let's play a game I ask you the questions you answer…"

"Renesmee, my love is not a game, I don't want to play games I want you to love me" he said in a broken voice

"Jake I like you I really do but how can I love you if I don't even know the real you. And it hurts do badly because I don't even know your favorite colour and you know everything about me "

"Ness….you can learn all of those things all that matters is me and you, we can make this work"  
he facing me and taking my hands and cradling them in his

"no we can't Jacob you're a wolf, a fricken horse sized wolf that was created to kill to kill vampires and I'm half vampire…..you exist to kill me and my kind; we're natural enemies. Just face the facts there right in front your eyes"

He dropped my hands

"Face the facts, you want me to face the facts ok I will; tell me where the hell in the ecosystem or animal kingdom do you see werewolf dash shape shifting human" he said making the dash in the air with his finger. "And where do you see vampire deflowering human teen girl and creating a beautiful half vampire daughter huh?

**SILENCE**

"Answer me!" he yelled

"No where!" I yelled back

"Exactly; no where so what's the problem?"

"I….I…." I said fumbling to speak but the words never came

"I know exactly what's the problem I love you and you love me back, u get butterflies when ever I'm near and your body responds to my touch and you can't stand that can you? Or is it because you can't control and manipulate this aspect of your life to your liking so you push me away because I'm the person that '_cursed'_ you? Yea that's it isn't it? Is it so morally wrong to have someone who loves and cares for you, someone who would rather die that to see harm come your way?"

I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off

"I don't want to hear….. It's too late for that now" and with that he marched out of my room .I just stood there as my world collapsed around me; tears stung my eyes begging me to release them from the confinement of my sockets.

"I will not cry; I must not cry" I chanted to myself "tears are a sign of weakness, I must always be in control". The black hole that was forming at my newly broken heart enveloped my body like a blanket slowly disabling my thoughts along with all the control I had over my body, but I didn't complain or protest their was no need to fight it. The emotions it supplied…this…..this feeling of unadulterated loneliness was like a personal haven. I much rather be alone in the dark than become a prisoner of my own conscience…

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JPOV

I ran out of that house I fast as I could and phased as soon as I was out of the door not even bothering to take of my clothing. Her image, that goddess was all I could see does beautiful lips, curved up into the most breath taking smile. I saw her beautiful brown eyes that seem to be as deep as an ocean it was filled with such love and inquisitiveness. Her hair Oh! How I loved those spiral ringlets of curls that cascaded down her back, Her hair complimented her figure it provided an outline to the curve of her bust and the outward thrust of her hips I love this girl more than I valued my life; I wanted her so badly there was no denying it but alas we are not rewarded with what we want rather what we need.

"God….." I began my prayer "I know it's been a while and I'm not exactly worthy of your blessings but you and me both know that with out Renesmee I can't survive; she is and will always be the reason I smile, the reason I breathe, I've lived all these years for her….. Where has MY nessie gone; the one who always told me she would marry me back when she was six; the one who had a crush on me when she was fourteen. Yea I wanted her to become a woman but I didn't think for one second that she would have doubts about me loving her… please god…let her find her way back to me…..AMEN"

I ran and ran leaving the trail of her scent behind me I ran until my legs collapsed beneath me. I didn't even know where I was but I didn't care I was out of that horrid place known as forks Washington and I wasn't going back there for a long time I'll make sure of that. I'm not needed there so why stick around when after all my presence is not needed…..

_**Please comment because if u don't I won't know who has been reading my chapters and I am currently writing for one person thanks to boosterrich 4 the comment =] **_


	5. walking away more like running

**Walking away…more like running away**

**Disclaimer: you know the drill pplz.

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**Previously**

_I ran and ran leaving the trail of her scent behind me I ran until my legs collapsed beneath me. I didn't even know where I was but I didn't care I was out of that horrid place known as forks Washington and I wasn't going back there for a long time I'll make sure of that. I'm not needed there so why stick around when after all my presence is not needed…..

* * *

_

**Nothing to gain, hollow and alone  
and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own **

**- Linkin' Park, Somewhere I Belong.**

**RPOV  
**

Tick tock tick tock drip drip drip…these were the sounds I heard all night as I sat in my bed staring at my bedroom door wishing that something miraculous would burst through it and turn things back to the way they were. It felt like it was years since he left me standing there well in actuality I let him go he would have stayed if I wanted him to…

Beep! My alarm clock went off I didn't move a muscle I just sat there staring at the door the minutes drifted by but time was no problem for me or anyone in my family.

"Nessie darling will you please come down stairs? It's noon already and everybody is getting worried about you" my mom said peeking her head around my door

"No" my voice croaked

My mom walked over and sat on my bed she just rubbed my leg "don't worry honey everything is going to be fine don't worry Jake's gonna come back to you" she soothed me

I wanted to believe that with all my heart but I knew he wouldn't just come back to me as much as I hate to admit I hurt him and I hurt him bad…..but I'm not going to tell mom that.

"Jake can handle it he has had his fair share of heart break-"

I flinched at that thought I knew Jake loved my mom once a long time ago but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt

"I've said too much haven't I? I'm going to go….come down stairs when you're ready"

I just nodded and stared at the wall. The sun went and came and I was in the same position they left me my mind was blank, I felt like the prickles of hot needles all over my body…there is this burning sensation in the back of my throat I welcomed the pain It filled the void the emptiness deep with in my soul I knew I had to fix this but how could I?...

**JPOV**

**Someone, if you can see, the dark inside of me, No one will ever change this Animal I Have Become **

**-Three Days Grace-animal I Have Become**

It had been days since I fled from the Cullen mansion and the pain and remorse I felt was never stronger I knew I was wrong to flip out like that and I knew that I should have given her time to explain herself but her rejection was the one thing that I didn't need; she did act as though she didn't want me but she never voiced it and at the rate we were going that was all she had left for her say. Even my surrounding felt my emotions the air freezes around me in discontent and sadness. A feeling of emptiness, a feeling of grief and sorrow. My stomach aches with knots of confusion and head fills with clouds of misunderstanding. Boxes of information opened and poured out with hope of solution.

A mouth watering scent deterred my line of thought s soon as I got a waft of the scent my stomach growled it has been a while since I ate, I don't think I can eat anything right now. a grizzly ran pass me and all thought went out the window my wolf instincts went into over drive before I launched myself in the air and landed squarely on the bear's back I sunk my claws into it flesh and ripped its back open I savaged the bear; shredding and ripping at it's inner parts .I feasted till there was nothing but bones and skin left I instantly felt a revolting churning in my stomach

What have I done thought to myself staring down at the shell of the grizzly that was left around me guts were strewn on the earth around me.

_**Look at what u did **_

"What? Who are you?"  
_**I am you and you are me**_

"Leave me alone" I yelled and started to run

_**Oh Jake! I thought you knew you can't outrun your conscience**_

"My conscience?"

_**Yes I'm your conscience and I must say what u did to that bear was simply…..inspirational **_

No what I did was monstrous it was wrong on so many levels

_**You are a wolf after all, you are a monster no wonder that innocent little Renesmee didn't want you…**_

No! Stop talking

_**The thought of you touching her revolted her why do you think she had Pete…wondering hands petey .he couldn't keep his hands off her it's not like she would mind it.**_

Images of Pete and Renesmee flashed through my mind and again I was running, running away from the troubles in my life….

**Thanks 4 reading review so I can know what you think about the story so far lots of love xoxoxoxoxo**


	6. second best

_**HOWDIE EVERYBODY! WELL HERE'S YOUR UPDATED HOW YOU ENJOY IT (PLEASE DO) IT WAS AS HARD AS F&^K TO WRITE.I HAVE 1 BONE TO PICK WITH MY READERS IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO REVIEW I UNDERSTAND IF YOU ADD MY STORY TO YOUR FAVOURITES BUT COULD YOU AT LEAST COMMENT. I NOW UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO PUT IN SO MUCH WORK **_**SOMETHING AND PERSONS CAN'T TAKE A MINUTE TO REVIEW ANYHOW...ENJOY **

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I've been roaming around

Always looking down at all I see

Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody.

Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon

**RPOV **

Over time the burning sensation in the back of my throat grew I couldn't bear it anymore I had to get something to eat. I swung my legs over the bed, I got up too fast and got I head rush I gripped the bed frame until I was feeling better. It too me 5 minutes to get down the stairs to the kitchen but I didn't care. I rummaged through the fridge but found nothing that was worth eating I slammed the fridge door and saw my dad leaning against the kitchen counter.

"I have something for you' he said handing me I cup of warmed blood

"Hmmmmmmmm B positive my favorite"

He chuckled "I knew that you would like it"

He helped me over to the couch, "where is everybody?" I asked

"Bella is at the cottage and all the others are hunting"

"Translation: jasper couldn't stand my emotions, Alice is keeping jasper's company, mom can't stand to see me like this and Esme and Carlisle are holding everyone and everything together like super glue"

"OK yea your partially right" he said with that crooked smile that use to comfort me .I arched my eyebrows

"Rosalie and Emmett are actually hunting"

I gave him a small smile; we sat there for a couple of minutes and I started to recap on everything that happened during the passing month went from being immensely happy to utterly miserably, an image of Pete flashed in my mind….

"You should give him a call….

"Dad don't….. Just don't" before he could reply I gripped my cup and headed for the front door .I stood on the front porch inhaling the fresh air, I could faintly smell his scent; I breathed in deeply my body warmed at the recognition of his scent ; I breathed in again allowing his scent to assault my senses. I followed the trail of Jacob's sweet scent I stopped at the edge of the forest below my feet laid his shredded clothing. I bent down and scooped as many pieces as I could in my hands. I cradled them and pressed them to my chest then to my face and inhaled deeply his scent was fading but the fact that he was once covered by these shreds was comfort enough for me. I headed by to the house inhaling Jake's scent as if it was the only thing that bound me to the earth. I didn't know how I made it to my room but somehow I was lying in my bed I laid the shredded clothing at the side of me I traced it with my finger tips over and over again imagining that Jake was there.

_Jacob was standing in front of me, he was wearing the exact outfit he was wearing the night we argued._

"_Jacob! You're here; you came back" I said extending my arm to touch him as soon as my fingers were centimeters away from contact with him; he fade._

_My surroundings suddenly changed before me were three thrones there was one throne that was front and center in it sat a man not just any man he was a vampire for sure he had almost translucent skin that can be compared with onion skin , his hair is long and jet black ending just below his shoulders he had chiseled features he was handsome in a way. On his right sat a man with pale skin that appears to be powder like; his hair is shoulder length, and is silvery blonde in colour almost the same colour as his skin tone and on the left said was another man he had curly black hair that ended at his shoulders his features reflected his boredom but the one thing that was outstanding about all three of them were their eyes….it was of a milk red colour images of paintings from the main house flashed in my mind I know who they are….the Volturi the named that haunted me and my family for years. But through all of that the one thing I was worried about was the person that kneeling before them Jacob…my Jacob what was he doing here?_

"_So you want us to end your life, why so?" The first one spoke I guess he is Aro._

"_what's the point of living in a world where your true love doesn't love you back" Jacob recited raising his head to look into Aro's eyes I could see the pain in his eyes and the devastation and heartbreak etched on his face. My chests tighten at the sight of him._

"_Your wish is my command" Aro said rising from his throne to stand in front of Jacob "any last words?" he continued._

"_No"_

_Aro took hold of Jacob's head and twisted it right around I ran with all my might please stop! Please let go! But nothing happened he continued to disfigure Jacob's body somebody help me stop it! Let him go! I tried to hit Aro but my blows had no effect on him _

"Ah! Stop it! Please" I looked around I was in my bedroom again. Tears streaming down my face I felt cold arms wrap around my torso.

"Shush…..it was just a dream baby shhhhhhh"I looked up into the face of my mother she cradled me in her arms rocking me back and forth.

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* * *

BPOV**

I held Renesmee in my arms working her back and forth praying that this would be of some sort of comfort to her. Her body tensed her eyes were blank.

"Edward! What is she thinking?"

"Nothing"

"what do you mean nothing?" I said frantically

"Bella…." His eyes told me a story

"I know she'll be OK I just know she will" I cradled her closer to my body rocking her faster. Renesmee eventually feel asleep in my arms I tucked her in and headed to the living room I sank down in the couch; Edward was next to me in an instant he cradled my head to his chest.

"Don't worry love everything will work out"

"You said she was thinking of nothing; what did you mean?"

"It was blank, filled with nothingness "

"Edward what are we going to do?"

"I don't know Bella…not yet"

"Can I suggest something" rose said appearing in front of us

"Go ahead rose" I replied

"Well we _need _to find Jacob he is our only hope of getting Nessie better"

"No one knows where he is rose…"

"I was getting there Edward if Renesmee doesn't come around we have to use the next best thing."

"Seth" Edward and rose said in unison

"Seth"I sighed

* * *

THAT'S IT FOR YOU ENJOYED IT JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH BY HITTING THAT PRETTY LITTLE REVIEW BUTTON :]


	7. feeling the love

**HEY EVERYONE HOW ARE YOU ALL!** Hope you enjoy the new chapter

* * *

We go through life wondering who is going to love us and to whom they should return this love to, human beings can be simple minded not paying attention to the ones that love them they always expect to be the expected persons but when in all actuality it comes in the simplest forms….Your mother, sister. Brother, uncle, cousin or a friend but most importantly love is forever present in a father….MY FATHER.

BY xxx skittlelicious xxx

* * *

**RPOV**

From the darkness came forth a scorching heat. It did not make me uncomfortable as it should have it instead provided comfort; I felt myself being enclosed by this radiating heat I opened my eyes and was assaulted by bright lights and contrasting colours. I closed my eyes for a few seconds then opened them again a big brown blur appeared out of nowhere I blinked a few times then the blur starting calling my name

"Nessie…Nessie"

That's what I hear over and over again WTF? why is a big blur calling my name? I closed my eyes tightly and after about five minutes I opened them again. I was laying against something hard I looked down my body was slightly tilted towards this hard surface. I skimped over this surface; it felt familiar yet so strange; I blinked a few more times and looked straight ahead I saw my entire family gathered around me looking on intently….every Cullen was accounted for even Carlisle was there .I ran my hand over the surface again it was hot I traced the contours from the bottom to the top I looked up into knowing brown eyes….

"Seth?" I croaked was that me, my voice… it sounded so alien.

"Welcome back Nessie" he said with a broad grin raising his head to look directly at my mother.

"Some one please get Renesmee some water "Carlisle said he stepped forth breaking away from the little Cullen congregation he shined a flash light straight into my eyes, I felt the urge to close them but he stopped me

"Don't close them dear, I need to examine you" he said with a small smile

After Carlisle was finished every one came one by one to hug me and welcome me back I looked at my father welcoming me back from what exactly I thought to him.

"You were unconscious for three days Nessie" he said with a sorrow stricken look.

"Come closer daddy…I'm not gonna bite" I said continuing to speak with him through my thoughts

He let out a chuckled and came to sit on the edge of my bed

"Closer daddy" I motioned to him with my index finger I showed him that I wanted him to sit in the empty space Seth had left vacant beside me.

He obliged I wrapped my arms around his torso and he wrapped one hand around my shoulder pulling me close and the other rested on the hand I had wrapped around the front of his torso. He inhaled my hair and tenderly kissed me on my head.

"I love you daddy" I said finally utilizing my mouth.

"I love you so much too sweetie so. So much"

**JPOV **

2 days prior

Now I know what it feels like to be a nomad, to have no sense of destination I had practically walked in circles for the majority of the day ,this tree I'm laying under I passed it four times . I feel so disorientated this is the first time I have felt so helpless and vulnerable and it sucks big time .suddenly I felt myself being drained of my energy little by little my resolve was trickling to an end. Something was wrong very wrong the voice in the back of my mind kept saying '_it's Nessie! Something happened to her' _it was like a mantra in my head. My protective instincts took over and I ran faster than I have ever ran before; my imprint is in danger I had no time to make thought through decisions it was time for action.

It took two days; 48 hours but I was here in a familiar forest just a little further and I will be with my imprint, my Nessie. My heart was racing I could hear the thud of my paws on the forest floor. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins at an indescribable rate '**ON**E MORE MILE' I chanted to myself , my subconscious was projecting images of Renesmee from the exact moment I looked into her eyes when she was snuggled in Rosalie's arms those brown eyes that made me drown it is deep chocolate bliss ; I remembered the first day she used her ability I was a little freaked but she was my imprint so once she was happy I was too ; or the first time she said my name I was so proud I had this goofy grin plastered on my face for three whole days .God I can't believe how stupid I was to leave her will she forgive me ? I pray that she will but first things first I need to make sure she's alright .I burst through the last cluster of trees surrounding the Cullen mansion my paws hit the earth with a loud thump .I glanced around the yard, and there sat Edward on a boulder just a mere 10 feet away from me.

"Where is she? What happened to her? Is she alright?" I rambled on

"Hello Jacob" he said tactfully

"Don't mess with me Edward. What happened to her?"

"All that matters now is that she is alive and well"

"Um do you think…..that…..um can I see her? _Please_" I hesitated

"I can only get you into the house without harm done to you by the women but if Renesmee doesn't want to see you then there is nothing else I can do but escort you out of our home"

I nodded my wolf head

"Here are some clothes" he said throwing the garments my way.

"Huh? How does he know I don't have clothing" I thought to my self.

He read the confusion in my mind

"I hear you from a mile away, now go change" he said with a crooked smirk

After I had changed I met Edward on the porch.

"Here goes nothing" I mumbled when Edward placed his hand on the doorknob.

* * *

**RPOV **

Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head I miss you I miss you…..

Blink 182

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen you have to eat something" mom scolded me.

"Mom I do not want to eat now just drop it!" I said throwing my hand in the air for a dramatic effect

"Teenagers are so melodramatic"

"Mom you're only..-" my words were daunted by the most amazing smelling waft of wind coming through my window, I inhaled deeply it smelt like rain, pine nuts and the slightest hint of musk, it smelt like Jacob.

"He's here" I whispered to myself I slowly turned my head to look at my mother.

"Yes he is honey, he's here and he wants to see you" my mom said in a tender voice.

"Well I don't want to see him"

"Sorry, what?" mom said surprised

"You heard me I .Don't .Want. To. See. Him" I said turning my back to her and pulling my covers over my body.

* * *

A/N: Hello readers, how was your weekend? Hope it was awesome. I saw vampires suck yesterday that was the funniest thing ever I almost literally laughed my ass off. Well back to the story I'm thinking about taking a little break from writing; well that is if I don't get a lot of reviews if there is an increase in reviews I will continue to update but it will take longer than usual so the question is to write or not to write? What do you guys think I should do?

P.S TEAM JACOB BITCH (that movie is seriously funny you need to see it)

**LOVE YOU ALL CIAO! xoxoxo**


	8. Homecoming

**HEY EVERYONE HOW ARE YOU ALL!** Hope you enjoy the new chapter

* * *

We go through life wondering who is going to love us and to whom they should return this love to, human beings can be simple minded not paying attention to the ones that love them they always expect to be the expected persons but when in all actuality it comes in the simplest forms….Your mother, sister. Brother, uncle, cousin or a friend but most importantly love is forever present in a father….MY FATHER.

BY xxx skittlelicious xxx

* * *

**RPOV**

From the darkness came forth a scorching heat. It did not make me uncomfortable as it should have it instead provided comfort; I felt myself being enclosed by this radiating heat I opened my eyes and was assaulted by bright lights and contrasting colours. I closed my eyes for a few seconds then opened them again a big brown blur appeared out of nowhere I blinked a few times then the blur starting calling my name

"Nessie…Nessie"

That's what I hear over and over again WTF? why is a big blur calling my name? I closed my eyes tightly and after about five minutes I opened them again. I was laying against something hard I looked down my body was slightly tilted towards this hard surface. I skimped over this surface; it felt familiar yet so strange; I blinked a few more times and looked straight ahead I saw my entire family gathered around me looking on intently….every Cullen was accounted for even Carlisle was there .I ran my hand over the surface again it was hot I traced the contours from the bottom to the top I looked up into knowing brown eyes….

"Seth?" I croaked was that me, my voice… it sounded so alien.

"Welcome back Nessie" he said with a broad grin raising his head to look directly at my mother.

"Some one please get Renesmee some water "Carlisle said he stepped forth breaking away from the little Cullen congregation he shined a flash light straight into my eyes, I felt the urge to close them but he stopped me

"Don't close them dear, I need to examine you" he said with a small smile

After Carlisle was finished every one came one by one to hug me and welcome me back I looked at my father welcoming me back from what exactly I thought to him.

"You were unconscious for three days Nessie" he said with a sorrow stricken look.

"Come closer daddy…I'm not gonna bite" I said continuing to speak with him through my thoughts

He let out a chuckled and came to sit on the edge of my bed

"Closer daddy" I motioned to him with my index finger I showed him that I wanted him to sit in the empty space Seth had left vacant beside me.

He obliged I wrapped my arms around his torso and he wrapped one hand around my shoulder pulling me close and the other rested on the hand I had wrapped around the front of his torso. He inhaled my hair and tenderly kissed me on my head.

"I love you daddy" I said finally utilizing my mouth.

"I love you so much too sweetie so. So much"

**JPOV **

2 days prior

Now I know what it feels like to be a nomad, to have no sense of destination I had practically walked in circles for the majority of the day ,this tree I'm laying under I passed it four times . I feel so disorientated this is the first time I have felt so helpless and vulnerable and it sucks big time .suddenly I felt myself being drained of my energy little by little my resolve was trickling to an end. Something was wrong very wrong the voice in the back of my mind kept saying '_it's Nessie! Something happened to her' _it was like a mantra in my head. My protective instincts took over and I ran faster than I have ever ran before; my imprint is in danger I had no time to make thought through decisions it was time for action.

It took two days; 48 hours but I was here in a familiar forest just a little further and I will be with my imprint, my Nessie. My heart was racing I could hear the thud of my paws on the forest floor. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins at an indescribable rate '**ON**E MORE MILE' I chanted to myself , my subconscious was projecting images of Renesmee from the exact moment I looked into her eyes when she was snuggled in Rosalie's arms those brown eyes that made me drown it is deep chocolate bliss ; I remembered the first day she used her ability I was a little freaked but she was my imprint so once she was happy I was too ; or the first time she said my name I was so proud I had this goofy grin plastered on my face for three whole days .God I can't believe how stupid I was to leave her will she forgive me ? I pray that she will but first things first I need to make sure she's alright .I burst through the last cluster of trees surrounding the Cullen mansion my paws hit the earth with a loud thump .I glanced around the yard, and there sat Edward on a boulder just a mere 10 feet away from me.

"Where is she? What happened to her? Is she alright?" I rambled on

"Hello Jacob" he said tactfully

"Don't mess with me Edward. What happened to her?"

"All that matters now is that she is alive and well"

"Um do you think…..that…..um can I see her? _Please_" I hesitated

"I can only get you into the house without harm done to you by the women but if Renesmee doesn't want to see you then there is nothing else I can do but escort you out of our home"

I nodded my wolf head

"Here are some clothes" he said throwing the garments my way.

"Huh? How does he know I don't have clothing" I thought to my self.

He read the confusion in my mind

"I hear you from a mile away, now go change" he said with a crooked smirk

After I had changed I met Edward on the porch.

"Here goes nothing" I mumbled when Edward placed his hand on the doorknob.

* * *

**RPOV **

Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head I miss you I miss you…..

Blink 182

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen you have to eat something" mom scolded me.

"Mom I do not want to eat now just drop it!" I said throwing my hand in the air for a dramatic effect

"Teenagers are so melodramatic"

"Mom you're only..-" my words were daunted by the most amazing smelling waft of wind coming through my window, I inhaled deeply it smelt like rain, pine nuts and the slightest hint of musk, it smelt like Jacob.

"He's here" I whispered to myself I slowly turned my head to look at my mother.

"Yes he is honey, he's here and he wants to see you" my mom said in a tender voice.

"Well I don't want to see him"

"Sorry, what?" mom said surprised

"You heard me I .Don't .Want. To. See. Him" I said turning my back to her and pulling my covers over my body.

* * *

A/N: Hello readers, how was your weekend? Hope it was awesome. I saw vampires suck yesterday that was the funniest thing ever I almost literally laughed my ass off. Well back to the story I'm thinking about taking a little break from writing; well that is if I don't get a lot of reviews if there is an increase in reviews I will continue to update but it will take longer than usual so the question is to write or not to write? What do you guys think I should do?

P.S TEAM JACOB BITCH (that movie is seriously funny you need to see it)

**LOVE YOU ALL CIAO! xoxoxo**


	9. it's on!

**Hey peeps! sorry it took so long to update I hope it was worth the wait.

* * *

**

Though I'm rather blind  
Love is a fate resigned  
Memories mar my mind  
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds  
And laughed at by the gods  
And now the final frame  
Love is a losing game.

Love is a losing game - Amy Winehouse

**JPOV

* * *

**

"What did you just say?"

"She said she doesn't want to see you" Edward repeated for the third time

I stared at him in utter disbelief

"Well I guess I deserve it don't I?"

"You most certainly did mongrel" Rosalie said appearing out of nowhere

"Shut it Blondie" I said through gritted teeth

"Poor puppy, Nessie doesn't want you; now scram" she said pointing towards the door

"Fucking leech" I grumbled under my breath. I walked out of the house with my head bowed; I heard the most heart wrenching sound .I have heard it few times before and I knew with out a doubt that Renesmee was crying. I climbed on to the closest tree to her bedroom the one right outside her window. She was sitting on her bed sobbing into one of my shirts a glimmer of hope sparked within me but was soon demised when she threw it across the room. I felt like I was soccer punched in the gut '_she hates me she really does' _and all I want to do is to hold her in my arms and wipe away her tears, I wanted to feel her soft, velvet skin under my finger tips, I would give anything to be able to run my fingers through her bronze curls .Instinctively I reached out for her but with my luck the window was closed; I imagined that I was touching her instead of a cold glass plane ; soothing her '_I love you'_ I whispered, stroking the glass plane.

* * *

**RPOV **

God! I'm such a ditz; I'm crying like some stupid bimbo. Why can't I just go with the flow? I should have spoken to Jacob but I was just so pissed off. I love him so much that it hurts, I love everything about him his short black hair; that crooked smirk of his and his rock hard abs; it should illegal to be that sexy! I had to go screwing everything up didn't I? But he just makes me so mad ah!

I hate him!

_No you don't!_

Yes I do!

_No! You really don't _

Yes! I really do!

"You really do what Renesmee?"

My head snapped up to stare at my aunt rose "I really hate him".

She was at my feet in an instant "as much as It satisfies me to hear that I know; you know; matter-of-fact everybody knows that you love him

"I love Pete ok"

Rose let out a very unnecessary and exasperated sigh

"Give it up honey, you may have Jacob fooled but I know everything about you and Pete"

"How much is _everything_?" I raised my eyebrows at her

"I know enough" I crossed my arms over my chest and urged her to go on "I know that you don't love him; hell you don't even like the kid, I also know that you were only with him because he sought you out and asked you '_you're the prettiest girl in this school and I'm the most popular boy and uh…we should like totally be together_" she said imitating his voice; I opened my mouth to speak but she raised her hand stopping me "let me finish….and I also know that you came home and in that pretty little head of yours, you came up with a plan you would be with 'Pete' and in doing so it would give you time to figure out a way to put off being with Jake for as long as you could" by the time she had finished her speech my mouth was gaping open "you can talk now" she said with a smirk.

"Since when are you a mind reader?"

"This has nothing to do with being a mind reader but everything to do with being 18 for 77 years "she replied chuckling" now what's it that I hear about you not wanting to give Jake a fighting chance to win your heart"

"With all respect aunt rose I don't think you will understand"

"Try me" she quirked.

"It feels so wrong, aunt rose why should we be forced to each other"

"It only seems forced Ness but even if we were normal, just plain old humans there is no doubt in my mind that you and Jacob would have eventually found each other, you're soul mates, meant to be"

"What ever happened to falling in love the old fashioned way?" I mumble

"He didn't really explain the whole imprinting did he?"

"No not really" I turned to look at her half expecting her to explain it to me.

"Hey, don't look at me I'm a vampire not a mutt" she replied with a sadistic smirk "just try to get some sleep ok?"

"Fine nite nite aunt rose"

* * *

"Renesmee!, get your lazy butt out of bed"

"No!" I mumbled into my pillow.

"Yes!" my covers were pulled off of me

"We're going shopping young lady now get up and scoot!"

"Alice you know I'm not a morning person" I said putting on my pouty face.

"Well…let's see" she looked at her wrist watch "get up! It's noon" she said pulling my pillow from beneath my head

"You are one _evil _little pixie" I huffed

"So I've heard" she chuckled "

I began my morning ritual; I hopped into the bathroom turning the water temperature up to its highest which is about 110 degrees it felt so good, the heated droplets running down my back was really nice after a while it felt _too nice _it felt like one of Jake's signature bear hugs I wrapped myself in a towel and headed to the mirror I wiped it…oh crap! My hair looked like an over used mop. I did what I could to sanction my curls and then got dressed i started for the stairs as soon as I hit the bottom the first thing I heard was

"No no no no, that is not allowed no Cullen related person will have such an atrocious wedding" Alice yelled.

Hey I think it's great Ali, Nessie can wear a denim romper with some pink uggs" Emmett chuckled looking in my direction.

"Ah! Emmett Cullen don't me come over there and pull out your spleen"

"Ha! I know you won't do that…."

"Emmett run!" jasper yelled coming out of the kitchen to hold Aunt Alice

"What was that all about?" I said turning to face jasper

"Charlie and sue are getting married"

"That's great!"

"No it's not especially when it is going to look like a trailer trash wedding" at Alice huff

"Oh! Now I understand what Emmett meant by the uggs" I chuckled.

"That's it! The shopping trip is cancelled Nessie I have a wedding to plan in a matter of two weeks" Alice said storming out the room.

"Whoa, who knew she could be so scary" I retorted.

"You don't know the half of it" jasper chuckled.

"Renesmee, shut chatting it up with jazz and come take these notes over to Seth's house please" Alice yelled.

"No need to yell super human hearing remember"

"Har har! Now take this to Seth tell him that it's the pairs and order that the groom's men and bride's maids will enter the church." She said handing me a envelope and shoving me out the front door "take the jaguar it'll get you there faster.

* * *

I pulled up to Seth's house and walked the short distance to his front door.

"Hey Ness!" someone called behind me I turned around to see Seth standing where my car was parked.

"Sweet ride kid" he said running his finger along the driver's door.

"Thanks old person"

"So…what you doing here?"

"Scary Aunt Alice sent this" I said handing him the envelope "she said that these are the pairs and order in which the participating persons will enter the church"

He pulled it out and scanned the file his face broke out info a grin "looks like i get you as a partner".

"Awesome" I said hi-fiving him."

"Well I guess imma see you later" he said

"Yea um thank you Seth…for helping me out the other day"

"You're welcome short stuff your like a sis to me" he said ruffling my hair.

"I love you Seth and thanks again" I said pulling him into a tight hug and kissing him on the cheek.

"Love you too Ness...now get going I'm sure the pixie chick is freaking out" he chuckled.

"Yea yea later brother from another mother" I said jumping into my car.

I pulled off and left a waving Seth behind me.

* * *

**JPOV**

So tired need to lay down I was practically crawling on my four legs I've been patrolling during the most ridiculous hours just so I don't race over to the Cullen mansion, get down on my knees and beg Nessie please wait a minute isn't that a song hmm I phrased and walked out of the forest instead of a welcome back I get this….

"I love you Seth and thanks again" what! Did she just kiss him?

"Love you too Ness...now get going I'm sure the pixie chick is freaking out" Seth was increasing the closeness of the hug oh fuck no! It's on!

A/N I LOVE GHETTO JACOB LOL J.K. JUST HIT THAT PRETTY REVIEW BUTTON REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED AND LOVED. THANKS TO THE PPL THAT REVIEWED B4 IT'S ALWAYS APPRECIATED!


	10. wedding bells part I

**Wedding bells part I**

* * *

find me in the dark

I'll be in the stars

find me in your heart

I'm in need of your love

your love - Nicki Minaj

**RPOV**

The following days after my visit to la push were the worst; with Alice as the wedding planner the traffic through out the house was over bearing even more so for sue it got so bad that one time she begged us to put Alice on a leash it was hilarious until Alice started yelling at everyone but things have calmed down a bit if only for a nano-second. With three more days left before the wedding all bridesmaids and groomsmen were here for there last fittings everything was in order the cake was set to arrive tomorrow the tents were already up and the bridal party all knew who there partners were to be; the bridal party was quite small since it would just be close friends and family attending the wedding; Seth was my partner and best man, Embry with Leah, Emily with Sam, my mom with Quil and Jacob with Emily's sister what was her name again…..uh let's just call her what's her face I knew I had a smirk plastered on my face as I bound down the stairs towards the kitchen I grabbed an apple and sat on the kitchen island.

"What's crackalakin squirt?" Uncle Emmett said as he came into the kitchen.

"What's got you so happy? Did you and rose just do it?" I replied stifling my giggles.

"As a matter of fact we did but shhhhh don't tell anyone" he whispered

"I'm pretty sure they heard you" I whispered back

"Maybe; maybe not"

"Well, I can make it definite why don't I just announce it to the whole house?" I smiled jumping off the island.

"You wouldn't"

"Ha! You know I would"

Emmett stalked forward and we ran round and round the island we were on the opposite sides of each other

"You are gonna keep your mouth shut young lady" Emmett screeched

"Oh yea?"

"Yea!" he said mimicking my voice.

"Make me" I teased.

Before I could even blink Emmett was perched on the island I sprinted for the kitchen door waving my hands over my head and screaming franticly when I entered the living room and without even thinking I jumped straight into Jake's arms I hands were wound tightly around his neck and my head my buried in his shoulder, I was stifling my giggles.

"Oh how was the noble fall" I heard Emmett chuckle.

I turned my head to face him and to my embarrassment everyone in the room had stopped what they were doing to stare at us then it hit me like a ton of bricks I was wrapped up in Jake's arms in an instant I jumped down from him.

"Sorry about that Jacob" I absently smoothing my dress out.

"No need for apology" he replied

I gave him a quick nod and headed up the stairs as soon as I knew they couldn't see me I made a mad dash for my room I locked the door and braced against it sinking to the floor I knew I was probably as red as a tomato _pull your self together Nessie you've been through far more embarrassing things your uncle is Emmett for crying out loud! _I took deep breaths and opened the door when I reached the bottom of the stairs the door opened and Claire came running in

"Nessie!" she yelled.

I bent down and she ran into my arms "Clairebear, how are you?"

"I'm fine you missed my eight birthday" she said with a pouty face.

"Oh I'm sorry Claire how about I take you out for ice cream soon to make it up to you?"

"Yes I would like that" she said with a cheeky grin

"Great, I'll make plans with Quil" I standing up.

I spent the remainder of the day sulking in between dress fittings by the time I was ready for bed I was both emotionally and physically tired and it isn't even my wedding!

"RENESMEE! Get in here I need to do your makeup and hair"

"I'm coming" I huffed

Alice had been on my back since I woke up an hour ago, her bickering was driving me over the crazy, I was so close to snapping that I was involuntary gritting my teeth every time she called my name; when I reached my bathroom door I saw that it was transformed into a salon room hair dryer, curling irons, makeup, hair sprays and every other thing that was made that can possible assist in a makeover was stationed in this room and in the midst of it all Alice was standing behind one of those salons chairs which was in front of large mirror.

"Stop staring and get in the bath room" she side pushing me towards the shower, "here take this" she said handing me a bottle of shower gel "and don't wet your hair" and with that she slammed the door I stripped and stepped into the shower i loved the feel of the hot water running down my curves, it was very relaxing I took extra precautions to ensure that my hair stayed dry because the last thing I needed was Alice having a complete melt down because it got wet; she could be so dramatic sometimes I heaved a sigh and picked up the bottle of bath gel apparently it has micro beads that are supposed to moisturize my skin which I highly doubt it could do but on the other hand it had an amazingly real strawberry smell that is Jacob's favourite fruit I really miss him even though I don't want to verbally admit it I know that my entire family knows that I miss him, it physically hurts to be away from him for so long but I'm determined to prove that I don't have to depend on him to keep me sane I could stand on my own two feet well at least relationship wise. Alice was running her hand through my curls separating them I didn't even realize that I had gotten out the shower when I start thinking about Jake all my mandatory thinking kicks in and I'm doing things with out even knowing that I was doing it in the first place it was like when I didn't know to control my powers I would be transferring all my most private thoughts without knowing those were the most embarrassing weeks of my life when I focused my eyes on the mirror aunt Alice had a pair of scissors in her hand just inches away from cutting my hair

"Whoa!" I yelled ducking out the way

"What?" she said innocently

"What the hell are you doing with that?"I said pointing to the scissors

"Nessie this" she said pointing to the object in question "is called a scissors and it is used to cut objects in this case your hair" she said in a condescending tone

"You? You're going to cut hair? You went ballistic when I cut two inches off last summer, you yelled and said it was a conspiracy, you didn't talk to me for two whole days not that I was complaining" I said smirking at the end.

"Well this is a special occasion ok now sit" she said tapping the leather seat.

I sat back down and Alice went to work and about twenty minutes later aunt Alice announced that she was finished when I looked up I was amazed at what I saw it didn't even look like me the image I saw in the mirror was beautiful, I had bangs the were short and even in the middle and at the ends the were up to my jaw; the rest of my hair was pulled back some of the curls were pulled up and pinned In a circular motion with tiny black flowers ,the remainder was flowing down my back oh shit! Alice cut off like five inches of my hair thank god it was getting unruly I was smiling like a Cheshire cat by the end of my evaluation

"Its amazing aunt Alice I love it" I said grinning widely

"Thank you thank you, please no autographs" she chuckled "well I'm going to hand you over to rose I have a bride to dress"

Aunt rose came in soon after and did my makeup it didn't take too long when I opened my eyes I was satisfied with the result my eyes had black eye shadow around it adding a smoky effect just below the black there was a thin line light blue which from the looks of it was liquid eyeliner and my lips were in a tinted lip gloss.

"ok gorgeous let's get you dressed" rose said snapping me out of my trance, we walked over to my room and aunt Alice came sprinting in with a black dress bag in tote she zipped it down and pulled out a beautiful light blue dress, the helped me to shimmy into it, the dress was beautiful it was just above my knees and it had a ruffled bubble skirt and a sash that went across my mid section it was strapless.

"And may I present you with the sexiest shoes I have seen and they have your name on them" Alice said handing me a pair of black killer pumps

"You just got promoted to five inches babe" rose said smiling

"Now for the finishing touches" aunt rose said walking up behind me and placing a diamond drop necklace on me, and then she pulled out two diamond earrings giving me to fasten them.

"You look gorgeous honey" I heard my mom's voice come from behind me, I turned to face her my mouth was left ajar at the appearance of her; the dress she wore was similar to mine but hers was black, her feet were incased in the sexiest blue open toe straps that I have ever seen they made her legs seem to go on for miles, her hair was curly and fanned out around her face she was breathtaking I can see why Jacob had loved her; she was beautiful, smart, sexy and most of all she wasn't a controlling bitch.

"Nessie don't think like that" there was only one person that could know what I was thinking

"Let it go dad, I'm fine today is about grandpa and sue" I said with a sad smile.

"Time to go guys" Alice said ushering us out into the hallway where the whole bridal party was lined up I raised my head and met Jacob's eyes _maybe_ _we could make up today_ I thought hopefully I let my eyes wander down his body I grimaced at the sight of the girl who had herself tightly wound around him _or maybe not

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**A/N ok so there it is I personally think that it sucks but you can humor me, check out my profile for nessie's bridesmaid dress**

**p.s the writing in _italic_ are renesmee's thoughts  
**


	11. wedding bells part II

**I am so so so sorry that it took me this long to update but school has been kicking my ass, but I'll try my best to make my updates closer together **

CHAPTER 11

The marriage ceremony part of the wedding went off without a glitch; now I was sitting at a table surrounded by my family but I couldn't help feeling as though someone was missing from our tight knit group ad I knew exactly who the person was…..Jacob I lifted my head and allowed my eyes to scan the room, he was standing in the far corner talking to the girl he escorted to the wedding, the more my eyes critiqued her body the I realize that she is not a girl but a woman. She had curves in all the desirable areas, full, plump breasts that were spilling out of the top of her dress unlike my mediocre b-cups which was being swallowed by the cloth of the dress, her bronze skin and black shoulder length hair made my stomach churn. What ever she was saying had Jake grinning like an idiot, I should be the one doing that to him it probably could have been me if I didn't go all emo on him. I refocused my attention on what they were doing, Jacob had his hand outstretched and was staring at her intently; she clasped her hands in his and they proceeded towards the made shift dance floor. I slowly turned my head back to the untouched plate of food laid out in front of me I used the fork to play with the food on the plate what I really wanted to do with this fork is to stab Jacob Black right in the jugular and La Push 'little miss perfect' over there off the highest cliff of First Beach; I was grasping the fork so tightly that it started to bend painting a wonderful image of me bending 'miss-I-have-big-jugs' in half; hearing her feeble bones snap would make living without Jacob tolerable the fork broke in half and landed on the floor with a strangely satisfying 'Klink'

"Renesmee!"my mother gasped snapping me out of my hate encrusted thoughts, every single person at the table was staring at me with wide eyes and agape mouths as soon as I saw my dad open his mouth to speak I interrupted him

"Save it for another day Eddie" I heard numerous unnecessary sharp breaths being inhaled "I'm going to get something to drink" I continued rising from my seat and made my way over to the bar

"Hey bartender, get me a tequila shot, salt around the rim and a lime wedge"

The bartender placed my order on the bar and winked at me I smiled and picked up the shot glass bypassing the lime

"Whoa! There cowgirl" Seth bellowed snatching the shot glass from my hand

I sighed loudly "what?" I whined

"Now what kind of brother would I be if I allow my 5 and a half year old sister to drink?"

"I pretty cool one" I snorted

"come on let's go dance" he said chuckling, Seth dragged me to the dance floor; he held me close to him I laid my head on his chest my feet moved on their own accord before my brain could even recognize the music playing in the background

_Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts_

_We've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face _

_And I've always lived like this _

_Keeping a comfortable distance _

_And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness_

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk _

_Well you are the only exception…_

"How very unorthodox" I grumbled burying my face into Seth's chest

"You wanna talk about?"

"No" we were silent for about 2 minutes and I was loving it but with my luck Seth had to open his big, stupid mouth

"I saw what happened at the table, what were you thinking about?"

"I said I don't want to fucking talk about it, why can't you get that through your thick skull?" I stormed out leaving a stunned Seth standing alone in the middle of the dance floor.

Stupid people, with their stupid mouths and their stupid nosy noses! Why couldn't they just be quite and leave me alone

_They love you that's why _

Ah! I hate it when my inner voice is right I wandered around outside for a few minutes kicking rocks and cussing ever possible thing I could for causing me to feel so shitty, it was dark out but it didn't matter I knew ever nook and cranny of our yard.

Nook and cranny noooooook and crannnnnnny I was giggling like a buffoon at the stupidest thing ever who knew two stupid words could make me feel as happy as it would have been to soccer punch _he who should not be spoken off in_ his balls I walked and walked and walked till I'm pretty sure that I passed my bedroom window about ten times.

_Why are you pacing when you can simply go to your room_

Because my naive inner voice I'm a stupid love stuck teenager that has a sickening amount of hope that Jacob would actually come looking for me but as we both can see he has done no such thing

_Thank you for flying idiot airlines, heart broken persons to the right, idiots to the left...Please come again _

I'll take left…I rather be an idiot that to be heart broken and I'm a young lady with a plan matter of fact I'm a Cullen with a plan, and that kind sirs is a force to be reckoned.

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